Church of Adonitology: Strictly For the Curvy Women!

Hello everyone! πŸ™‚

I recently came across something quite weird and interesting. With all the new spiritual movements taking place, one recently surfaced and it has fully caught my attention. It is about a new religion for the endowed ladies. Hmmmmm!

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The religion is called Adonitology, named after a man who calls himself the Prophet Adonis. He claims that on Jan 3rd. 1996 he was visited by an Angel, the Holy Spirit (who is a curvaceous bottom diety *big sigh*) and Christ to form a religion for women with curves and to write a Holy Book for them, which is called the Book of Adonai. (The book is now available for sale on Amazon, if you’re interested, for )
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Download the 8 minutes interview with the Prophet HERE

And now he has done it again by commissioning the Twerk praise dance as one of the official dances of worship during the praise service at the church of Adonitology. According to him, the Twerk praise dance is a stress reliever for women with the curvy bottom. Twerk praise dance is the act of twerking to spiritual/positive music.

An urban model twerking to Fred Hammond
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Download the full vid HERE

Visit their site HERE for more info.

On a lighter mood, I won’tΒ mind going to the church at least, for one sunday πŸ˜‰

So what do u guys think?

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HEADIES 2013: FULL LIST OF WINNERS

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Best Recording of the Year:
I Wish – Waje
Good Morning – Brymo
Natural Something – Sound Sultan
This Year – Jaywon

Producer of the Year:
Pheelz – Durosoke
DTunes – Sho Lee
Del B – Limpopo
Leriq – Like to Party
Legendury Beatz – Emi Ni Baller

Best Music Video:
Alingo – Jude Okoye/Clarence Peters
Oliver Twist – Sesan
Gaga Crazy – Aje Filmworks
Azonto – Moe Musa
Yes/No – Clarence Peters

Best R&B/Pop Album:
Iyanya Vs. Desire – Iyanya
O.B.O. – Davido
R&BW – Banky W
Blessed– Flavour
Away & Beyond – 2Face Idibia

Best R&B Single:
Don’t Let Go – Capital Femi
Good Good Loving – Banky W
Like to Party – Burna Boy
Rich & Famous – Praiz
Omote – Ese Peters

Best Pop Single:
Ihe Ne Me – 2Face Idibia
The Kick – Wande Coal Feat. Don Jazzy
Gobe – Davido
Catching Cold – Tunde Ednut
Ur Waist – Iyanya
Goody Bag – D’Prince

Best Reggae/Dancehall Single:
I Wish – Waje
Rihanna – Orezi
Give it To Me – General Pype
Go Down – Baba Dee

Best Rap Album:
Oga Boss – Ill Bliss
The Second Coming – Vector
YBNL – Olamide
Book of Rap Stories – Reminisce

Best Collabo:
Ghost Mode – Phyno Feat. Olamide
Tony Montana (Remix) – Naeto C Feat. D’banj
Baddest Boy – EME Feat, Wizkid, Skales & Banky W
Ezioku – Lynxxx Feat. Ikechukwu, Ill Bliss & Phyno
Emi Ni Baller – Chidinma Feat. Suspect & Ill Bliss
Baby Mi Da (Remix) – DR. Victor Olaiya Feat. 2Face Idibia

Best Rap Single:
Man of the Year – Phyno
Anam Achi Kwanu – Ill Bliss Feat. Phyno
Durosoke – Olamide
2 Musshh – Reminisce
Ghost Mode – Phyno Feat. Olamide

Best Vocal Performance (Male):
Rich & Famous – Praiz
Omote – Ese Peters
Don’t Let Go – Capital Femi
Yes/No – Banky W

Best Vocal Performance (Female):
I Wish – Waje
Toh Bad – Niyola
Irawo – Seyi Shay
Totally Yours – Zaina
Only You – Nikki Laoye

Next Rated:
Sean Tizzle
Dammy Krane
Burna Boy
Seyi Shay
Phyno

Hip Hop World Revelation:
W.A.J.E – Waje
Omo Baba Olowo – Davido
Frenzy – D’Prince
The Year of R&B – Capital Femi

Lyricist on the Roll:
Olamide – Voice of the Streets
Boogey – Sanctum
Mode 9 – Let It Go
Phyno – Man of the Year

Best Street-Hop Artiste:
Terry G – Run Mad
Durosoke – Olamide
My Dear – Dammy Krane
Skibo – Solid Star
Alaye – LKT

Best Alternative Song:
Repete – Black Magic
Omo Pastor – Ajebutter 22 Feat. BOJ
Feel Alright – Show Dem Camp Feat. BOJ & POE
This Year – Jaywon

Album of the Year:
Iyanya Vs. Desire – Iyanya
O.B.O. – Davido
R&BW – Banky W
Blessed – Flavour
YBNL – Olamide

Artiste of the Year:
Iyanya
Davido
Wizkid
Flavour
Olamide
Ice Prince

Song of the Year:
Durosoke – Olamide
Ur Waist – Iyanya
Alingo – P-Square
Sho Lee – Sean Tizzle
Limpopo – Kcee

Most Downloaded Callertune:
Harrysong – Mandela

Hall of Fame:
Wasiu Ayinde

Source

THEY CAME

For the victims of the new road….

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They came to our land
And strong-armed us
With a curt warning,
To pack from houses we built
On a land we thought was ours.

Then they came with
Their caterpillars, cranes
And other metallic beastly predators,
To crumble our brittle houses of prey to dust;
An overreaching sacrifice
For a six-lane asphalt rug.

Then they pat our jutting backs
With fattened palms of meagre atonement…
How can five loaves and
Two fishes feed thousands?
When you’re not the Messiah
Why six when four will do?
“Simplicity, simplicty…”
Thoreau had always said,
But they had never listened.

They came and left all bare
After flattening our homes to asphalt
All in a hurried superficial scheme
For an old king to renew his title

MY CELESTIAL CUSTODIAN

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Out of this hollow mass of skin,
A new star ascends the divine vault;
The heavens brighter,
Noctophobia outshined.

Like Moses I part my drapes
To let peering your familiar watchful gaze
As the night’s spell of heavy lids
Transport me to temporary oblivion.

ALCOHOL AND GRIEF

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Every subtle whisper is a clangorous bang:
A large bell’s ringing sound resounding in my ears
Bound to buried booming speakers in my skull.

The spring of grief, of the bight before,
Compressed by the fleeting hold of alcohol,
Blooms forth with renewed force at dawn.

What form of magnet draws me to your wholly vitreous insides,
When my sunken self lies in shattered shards?
Why do I seek your battered route of escape,
When I know its trail shortly ends at my captor’s thorny grasp?

If honey has not been ever so sweet,
This sudden romance with gall wouldn’t conjure this much grief.

AT THE END OF A YEAR

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Our own version of winter:
The morning fog afflicts us with
temporary myopia;
The early cold continually snoozes
our alarms.
Hence, more childbirth in September.

The car zooms past us,
leaving behind
a mushroom of dust,
which find homes on
thirsty leaves and naked roofs.

Wrinkled lips like dried tree barks;
In between fingers and toes,
‘white’ strategically hides.
Sometimes giving the illusion of
a hastily powdered skin.

Skit:
On TV,
a kid wails in betwixt laps
of a grinning-rotund-black-white-bearded-man
in loose fitted red and hat of same.

Wasteful spending begins:
My neighbour has starved
all through the year, to fatten her purse.
Only to empty its contents on stocks,
needed and unneeded, to be
demolished in two hurried gobbles!
Every other year, she’d repeat same.

Quick ascension period on the financial scale and all other weighted ills:
Birthing houses scythed for day old young;
The road lies in wait with an appetite larger than ever,
Twisted metals and shards of jagged glass smeared scarlet
are remnants from its daily meal,
Still beings void of organs
flank our roads;
All forms of nappers device new means
and revise old means for capture;
Our own forceful and erratic aurora borealis,
with showers of debris and disjointed beings,
casts a gloomy shade all over.

Why this sudden change?

‘Season Greetings.’

Now it all makes sense.